Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I am almost too sure I'm the father of her child but she's married to another man

Am I supposed to let go and walk away or should I try to claim what I'm almost sure is mine? 

I met Adesuwa at the NYSC camp in Nasarawa state and we hit it off immediately. We became inseparable before we passed out of camp. On the pass out day, we held each other for a long time and she was in tears.

Fortunately, our primary places of assignment were quite close, so we started seeing each other again.

When I noticed that the relationship was getting deeper and I didn't want to hurt her, I let her know that I already had a very serious girlfriend in Lagos whom I'd been dating since 300 level. She said it was fine as she also had a boyfriend in Portharcourt who was already working and she intends to get married to him immediately after service.

With that out of the way, we agreed to be friends but before you know it, one thing led to another and ours became friendship with benefits.

Just before we passed out finally, she told me she was pregnant but said I shouldn't bother because the baby is not mine but her real boyfriend's child. I easily believed her as she used to leave Nasarawa quite often to visit her boyfriend in Portharcourt.

We finally passed out and before she put to bed she had a traditional and court weddings with the other guy and moved in with him.

I really didn't keep in touch with her but sometimes check her updates on Facebook. The last time I checked, what I saw shocked me to my bone marrow. Looking right into my eyes was her 1 year old daughter, picture taken at her 1st year birthday. The child's resemblance to me is unmistakable. In short, she's a carbon copy of my youngest sister.

I don't want to break her home but the fact that my child could be growing up as another man's child is haunting me. I don't want anything from her, I just want to know if the child is mine and take responsibility like a man.

I'm yet to take any action but I intend to discuss this with my father and take the matter from there.

My problem now is how do I do this without hurting anyone? 


  1. how do you intend to do that without hurting her or her family. It is also possible that she assumed that the pregnancy was not yours but for the man she has finally married. In the name of whatever you hold dear, tread carefully.

  2. You sound like a desperate guy who's holding on to something he never had. It's unfortunate that you feel this way but if you really don't want to hurt this girl, simply leave her alone and stop stalking her.

  3. Please don't make this a family matter. Once you involve your Dad, it's going to blow out of proportion, instead, call the girl and ask her if she's sure the child is yours. Maybe you're just seeing what you want to see.

    Pls, don't scatter this girl's home.

  4. Why will you even want to contact her? Will you marry her? Pls, who'll just end up disgracing this girl and messing up her whole life.

    Since she was already in a relationship before you started sleeping with her, her husband will obviously be disappointed and never trust her again. Please, yes, move on.

  5. Get married and have your own children. You'll forget your ex girlfriend faster than you think.

  6. I think u re heartless 4 even thinking abt it dis far...
    Wat makes u d father of d girl... Cos u enjoyed Urself by sleeping with a lady without condom n deposited Ur sperm...
    Re u aware dat somebody married dat lady in question while she is still pregnant, traditionally n legally u ve lost, cos u re aware she is abt to get married n it didn't bother u...
    Re u aware dat somebody was with her all tru d pregnancy, loving, caring , bathing etc for all dis while n u just appeared now ...
    K, if u tell Ur father abt it, wat do u think u guys gonna do without hurting anyone ...
    Talking abt d girl looking like Ur sister, ve u seen all d people in d girl's n her husband's family ? My elder sis last child looks like her landlady , does dat mean she is responsible 4 her pregnancy?
    O boy go n rest n think abt how u re going to raise Ur own family ...
    My people says dat ... Ihe emetara n'Enyi n'ala n'enyi...

    1. Gbam! Some men don't know what it means to be a father. Any man can get a woman pregnant but not all men can be called a father. You fall into the category of nonentity. You have no basis for your claim.

    2. This man stinks. You irritate me

  7. guy, u r shameless, u want to tell her husband that you were stealing his thing,i doubt if u will survive it, some men can go extra miles to protect their own, and he could be one of them

  8. Guy, go and park well jor. Stark resemblance ko , stark resemblance ni. My frined go and marry and leave the babe alone if you dont want wahala * hissing*