Sunday, September 2, 2012

Do I marry her or walk away now after 4 years of courtship?


Hi Yimiton, I'm a faithful reader of your blog but hardly leave comments as I'm quite a busy person. 

I do have a serious problem though and I'll need some candid advice from some matured minded people. Please publish this on your blog. 
I have been dating a lady for 4 years and I love her deeply. She's the epitome of a good wife, very pretty, well educated with a great job. She also loves my family and respects me deeply. I'm thinking it's high time I asked her to be my wife and walk her to the isle but for this little problem.....she's a drunk. She drinks a lot without restrictions.
When we go clubbing or attend events together, she always can't seem to stop once she starts. No matter how hard I try to make her stop, she never does until she starts throwing up and I have to carry her home. She also drinks almost anywhere as long as there's alcohol and recently, she started stacking her house with all sorts of drinks. I visited her recently and was shocked at the state I met her. She was so drunk, she could barely recognize me. 

I've spoken to her several times about my discomfort with this attitude but she begs and promises to change which she truly does for about one week, then the cycle begins all over again. 
Please, I'm at a crossroads now, do I walk away or go ahead and marry her praying and hoping that when we're finally married, she'll understand her responsibilities involved and quite this behaviour. 
Readers, please over to you. What does this young man do? 

10 comments:

  1. First and foremost seek God's face on this because marriage is suppose to be till death do you part seek the help of a minister if you both go to church then talk to her seriously as relating to settling down with her and see what the outcome is.I pray God minister to both of your needs.Amen. Guys check this out quick and easy way to make cool cash. http://referraltask.com/ref.php?page=act/ref&invcod=149975

    ReplyDelete
  2. this is my first time visiting this blog but from what i am reading, you are one of those useless men that waste a woman's youth dating. but when it is time to settle down, you will start finding something wrong with her. Are you going to lie and say, all of a sudden, you just realized that she is a drunk? or drinking is an habit that she just picked up?

    if you don't want to marry her, leave the poor girl alone. don't give us one yeye excuse. May God punish you if you are lying

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do love her and hope to make her my wife. At first, I didn't know she was a drunk, it was nice when she just had a glass of wine but by the time I found out, we were already 6 months in our relationship and I've fallen in love with her. Please note that marriage is a serious step for me and dating and a different ball game entirely

      Delete
  3. Some people are just so brutal with their comments to others...haba!wat warranted this kind of tuk @annon9:00pm...ow insensitive...kmt

    At d writer jare, sometyms some of this things aren't natural...dont wanna sound superstitious but you may just need to agree with her in prayers and if its an habit she suddenly picked up, if you rily love her as you sed, u shud help her get thru it. fight with her, dont take her to places where she will be tempted to take alcohol and above all, talk to her alot. Most tyms, people who take to alcohol do it for different reasons ranging from depression, emotional or work stress or any kind of psychological problem wich they tend to surpress by drinking...If you love her, you wud help her get thru it.No condition is beyond repair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This alot for your level headed and mature advice. Sincerely, I had done everything I thought I could and almost at breaking point but I'd never considered the spiritual aspect. I've been talking and suggesting seeing a psychologist. I'll try the spiritual aspect and pray and hope it brings a positive result.

      Delete
  4. First I think you should know the root cause of her drunkenness i.e. ask how she started and why she drinks to stupor. Then you will know how to help her if you truly love her. If that doesn’t work, the One and only way is to see a pastor, seek Christ (the Best psychiatrist ever!) and you will be happy together ever after.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Don't even think of leaving her o! If you do, who you wan leave her for enh? It is your responsibility to help her come out clean even if you don't marry, at least, that's what someone who claims to love will do. Jesus didn't abandon us. Don't get me wrong, if she were your sister, will you abandon her? Wont you look for ways to help her? Go and listen to Djieen,s "I no de shame for you"

    ReplyDelete
  6. How can you think of marrying a drunk? this is a dumb question as far as I am concerned. You don't subject yourself to a life of suffering from the beginning. She won't change, move on and start all over.

    ReplyDelete