I had that feeling a couple of years ago when something horribly painful and unexpected happened to me. Tears wouldn't take it away, neither would my resolution to move on, so I came to accept that the lump was always going to be there along with a painful ache, that feeling of a deep hole somewhere in my heart which was always just at the background as well as the feeling that something was missing which was never ever going to be found.Time did lighten it a bit though, but not entirely but sometime last year, I met someone who brought back genuine laughter into my life.
It didn't seem like he was doing much good at the time because I didn’t even know I still had the lump neither did I realize that the deep hole was still just there. I didn’t know I needed healing neither did I know that I was being gradually healed. I just went along with it, enjoying the moment with him.
A few days ago, precisely on Saturday, the 4th day of August, 4 days after our 7th month dating anniversary, he did something very significant and he made me cry. I cried so much and at the time, I couldn't tell entirely why I was crying uncontrollably, until I finally stumbled into THIS POST today.
I realize today that I cried, not only for a lost friend whom I greatly missed and wished she was alive to share my joy but also, the relieving feeling of the lump melting away, the hole filling up and that constant ache being patched. My tears were finally tears of relief and they thoroughly cleansed me.
Venue was Cactus, Victoria Island. The theme song was ‘Marry me’ by Train.
I’ll advice you listen to that song, it’s one of the most powerful and most beautiful love songs for proposal that I’ve ever heard. I don’t know how my fiancé (it feels nice to call him that) selected it but it has become my all time favorite song.