My heart broke so much, I looked forward to when we'll sit and talk and resolve the issues but then, I was disappointed that he didn't call all that while that we were waiting for the time to elapse. As the days went by and he still didn't call, I feared the worse. I just knew that he didn't miss me at all as he could conveniently stay away for that long without even a call. I held myself whenever the urge came to call him which was a lot of times.
Finally, the long wait was over, James and I sat to talk about us, I was broken, scared and sad. I don't know what he felt and I didn't even know what I wanted him to feel or say. All I knew was that I was hurting very deeply and very painfully. So, we sat to talk and he said he needed more time to think about the whole thing, but I knew my fragile heart couldn't take anymore days of uncertainly, so I insisted that he told me what he has decided as a few more weeks was not going to make any difference and that was when he hit the nail on the head and told me he didn't think he wanted to be with me. Said he thinks I was too shallow and very ignorant and immature.
To say that I was hurt will be an understatement. The pain was so much, at some point, I though it was a physical injury but I knew at the moment that I had to let go.
I walked away, the saddest I'd ever been in my life, wondering if I'll ever find a man to love and cherish, wondering if my injured heart will ever heal and be able to love again and then, the tears just wouldn't stop flowing. I cried myself to bed everyday and thank God for my very supportive family who was there to see me through this very dark times.
With time, the hurt became bearable but then, I had to tell everyone that the wedding had been called off but the most painful part was how to explain it to people but somehow, by the Grace of God, I got by.