Friday, June 7, 2013

Dear Yimiton, I am so angry, I could kill my brother for defiling my little girl!

How am I supposed to forgive my 27 year old brother who has been raping my 8 year old daughter! Somebody tell me, how am I supposed to move on, knowing that my little girl has been defiled by my own brother? How am I supposed to forgive myself or my demonic brother with what has been done to my baby?

I returned from work precisely one week ago and was shocked to meet my usually happy wife, holding our little girl and crying her eyes out. She looked so sad and immediately she saw me, she completely broke down and was crying so hard and so deep, it was heart wrecking. It was so scary to see my wife in that state.
I managed to reach out to where she was on the floor and inquired of her what had happened in my absence, she narrated how she was bathing our little girl and she kept shifting her bum back in pain. She questioned her and was shocked that my brother who lives with me and was supposedly job hunting had been defiling her.

At first, I hoped and prayed he'd only just fingered her but my heart totally broke when I asked my little girl and she said 'Uncle Tunde took my pants off and his pant too and....'' and what? I said, as I fell back on the chair with my hand on my head.

Immediately, we took her to the hospital and true to our fear, my child, our little jewel had lost her virginity. Her hymen was gone and further tests showed that the attack had been repeated several times.

In pain, we went home and summoned my brother back home who had gone out supposedly in search of job and still wasn't back at 9pm. We asked him immediately and as expected, he denied it until we showed him all the evidences.

He started apologizing and blaming the devil for his evil acts.

I disowned him immediately and told him to leave my house that same night and never return again. I told him I was giving him the opportunity to get out of my sight otherwise, I won't be held responsible for any action I take.

He moved out of the house that same night but my mother arrived my home the next day and has been begging me to take my brother back. She's been saying he's still my brother and I should know that people make mistakes. I've told my mom straight that if she doesn't stop telling me that, I'll be forced to disown her too.

My other problem is my wife, she's been crying so much that I don't know what to do about her anymore. She was 29 and a virgin when we got married. She's been blaming herself for not being a good mother to our child and wondering aloud how she had missed all the signs.Sometimes, I wake up at night to see her crying and talking to herself.

For now, I've agreed with my wife to relocate our little girl to my Sister's in the US. We believe the change in environment will help her heal and by God's grace, she'll forget what has happened to her.

My mother is still begging me to have pity on my the devil she calls my brother but the hatred in my heart right for him cannot be quantified. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and never took him in or was never even born as brothers. 

Yimiton Says
This story was told to me in tears by a young family I know personally and I was so touched. I don't know what to tell them anymore. Please share your words of advice and consolation on the comments box. They'll definitely come back here to read your comments. 


  1. Oh my God! That man is a demon! He is not being used by the devil, he is the devil himself. I pray God sees your wife through all this. She needs to stop blaming herself, it wasn't her fault.

  2. Ha! See what our world has become. Are you sure taking her to the US is the best option? She's already been exposed to abuse, I think she'll do better with both her parents being by her side to help her through this tough times.

  3. Hmmm!!...98 percent of all females have been abused when they were kids!!..I had my own share too, and the abusers are always relatives.gosh!! bad!!...anyway, the deed has been done!!!....Don't even think of taking him back!!...Forgive him, but dnt take him for your daughter!!...don't relocate her, you don't know what might happen wherever she goes....just maintain a close loving relationship with her...with time , the effects of the abuse might reflect ; like extreme shyness, withdrawal from people,low self esteem hate for men, anger, violence..for some other girls it could be promiscuity....whichever, it is stand by her,,,,pray for her!!!..and show her loads of love !!'s a good thing you guys are aware!!, in my own case, nobody knows about it, it was tough for me...very tough,i went through it all alone!! there were days I criedddddddddd so deeply....but I thank God for his love!!!!...I found restoration, wholeness and happiness through his word, I spent so much time in prayers for healing....I listened to t.d jakes, joyce meyer really whole life took a new turn..Trust me, she will be fine...let her more to God's love,,,and make her understand she's complete in Christ and not by virginity!!!...The thing is that the devil will fight so hard to fight a woman and our emotions, he uses several ways....Child abuse, heartbreak e. t.c Most great women were once abused, it's just one of the devil's way to hinder their destinies...keep praying and showing her love..go through the process of healing and self discovery with her...and be her friend!!!!....Kisses and my love to her!!!

    1. Kemi has said it all. I was also abused at 6 by 'an uncle' who visited my compound often. He'll tell me not to tell. The good thing about this case was that the man had very weak erection and he was using the kids around him to try if he could successfully penetrate without the embarrassment of a woman.

      Fortunately, I was moved from that environment and gradually, I was healed. I had a lot of trauma though, I bed wetted for a long time and was very timid but by God's grace, I grew up, got married and even got my self confidence back.

      Your wife needs to stop blaming herself. My mother was a teacher and used to be home at 2 latest. She had all my time, yet I was abused.

      Like Kemi has said, even if you decide to move her from that environment, pls stay around her. She needs her parents more than ever before now.

  4. i agreed with kemi. your wife should stop blaming herself! the person to blame is your brother, she is a great mom at least she found out!!!! even though it was to late. i was watched like a hawk and my mom never found out till i told her at 16 for her to be vigilant with my sister. we just dont expect it from people. also i dont think relocating helps how are u sure ur sis kids or husband wont do worse, the best thing for her is you and try counseling, shower her with love and with time she would forget it. forgive but never forget , he is never welcomed to stay in ur house u cant trust him

  5. This is d 1st time I'll eva say mine out, a very close neighbor deflowerd me at 6 and continued till age 10 dat we moved out of d ouse, he was alwys threatnin me, so I dint tel any one till tomm.I'm 31 and I just dnt lik bein with men at all. Its a very bad tin, so pls its gud dat u knw, let er be wit u so dat u cn hlp er get ova it.

  6. I do not know what this world is turning into.i would say almost all d women would have some tin or the other to say on abuse cos i had my own experience when i was 3,5 and 7 years of age.was abused by fingering,was abused by holding a mans p,was abused by touching and fondling where i almost got raped one time.change of location is not the best for her,let her be close to u both she needs to be loved so she could get her confidence for the brother leave him to GOD for judgement.taking her to another location might worsen the case cos she might get more exposed.there is nothing like you having her close is well with her.